Abundant Spirituality + codependency recovery + inner child healing + Love = Joy2MeU2
Update July 2025
To the Magnificent Spiritual Being on my emailing list,
In my last Update in October 2024, I talked about how my recovery is working in my life to help me deal with life on life's terms one day at a time.
“This is a relative process. Progress not perfection. We can gradually increase the percentage of the time our conscious awareness, our attitudes and mental focus, are aligned with recovery instead of with the disease. We do not get to wipe out the old ways of thinking and emotional reactions completely - what we do is gradually disempower them.
I can remember a time in the spring of 1989 when I raged at God about how sick I was of the recovery process. I said something to the effect that I was sick of only being relatively happy - the great tool in recovery where we stop and force ourselves to focus on the part of the glass that is full and be grateful, instead of giving power to the disease's focus on the part that is empty and feeling like a victim - and that I wanted to be happy without having to compare where I am now to how bad it used to be.
It was about a year later, that one day I realized that I had crossed a line someplace along my path. That I had shifted my relationship with life enough that my life was now more aligned with Recovery than with the disease, that my life was more defined by Joy, Love, and peace than by anger, pain, and fear. That I was having moments where I was just happy to be alive period - without having to force myself to look at the relative improvement. . . . .
. . . . . So, I have spiraled around to a place where I am focusing on relative happiness again. Except it doesn’t have much to do with happy, Joyous, and Free. It has more to do with patience, tolerance, and acceptance. My recovery is really working good in my life now. It is helping me to stay focused on today, and what is in front of me to do in my life today. . . . .
. . . . . My recovery is helping me to keep living one day at a time. In my disease I lived in the past and the future - never in today. My recovery has taught me to live one day at a time. And as some of us were talking after a CoDA meeting the other day, as we get older there is no guarantee that it will ever get back to how it was. I have eliminated most of the stress in my life by not spending time worrying about things I can’t control. "I don’t have to know that today. I don’t have to decide that today. I can let that go for today." - Update October 19 2024
I have said for years that the hardest thing for a recovering codependent is to have compassion for our self. We were powerless over our disease - and still are over the reactive programming that causes us to shame and blame our self, and judge our self by dysfunctional standards of false programming. There is no destination - no ‘there” to get to. The point is to learn to be “here” for the journey - and to enjoy it as much as possible by focusing on the part of the glass that is full instead of letting the ego cause our life to be defined by the victim perspective of focusing on the part that is empty. Accepting where ever we are in the moment - and knowing that in recovery it is okay to not be okay some of the time, that it is not because we are being punished or have done something wrong - even though it feels like it.
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“Part of the empowerment that comes from learning to stop giving power to the critical parent voice is that we own the power to choose where to focus our mind. Our default ego programming is to focus on the part of the glass that is empty - because our ego learned to relate to life from fear and shame. Some people react to that default programming by going to the other extreme - pretending the glass is completely full and nothing is empty. That is not the Truth either. The Truth is that the glass is always part full and part empty.
By learning to have internal boundaries we can own that we have the power to choose to focus on the part of the glass that is full (gifts in our life, things we are grateful for, progress we have made, miracles along the way) but we also do not deny, or judge and shame ourselves for the part that is empty (things in our life that we want and don't have, things we don't like about our self and our life, uncomfortable feelings of grief or anger that come from being conscious and willing to look at our issues and see life with more clarity.) We can choose to align intellectually with Truth & Love & Joy - at the same time we don't deny that there is pain and fear and grief and anger about how screwed up this human life experience is sometimes. We can accept that we are not perfect - and are never going to do human perfect - at the same time we know that we are Unconditionally Loved in this moment, always have been, always will be. And that we are perfectly where we are supposed to be on our spiritual path - and are being guided home. We are works in progress and we are not the Artist.” Joy2MeU Update February 2012
Codependency recovery is about learning how to be a positive, loving co-creator in our lives instead of a negative, shaming Co-Creator. Learning to stop giving so much power to the critical parent voice is vital.
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“We need to become clear internally on what messages are coming from the disease, from the old tapes, and which ones are coming from the True Self - what some people call "the small quiet voice."
We need to turn down the volume on those loud, yammering voices that shame and judge us and turn up the volume on the quiet Loving voice. As long as we are judging and shaming ourselves we are feeding back into the disease, we are feeding the dragon within that is eating the life out of us. Codependence is a disease that feeds on itself - it is self-perpetuating.
This healing is a long gradual process - the goal is progress, not perfection. What we are learning about is unconditional Love. Unconditional Love means no judgment, no shame.” - (Text in this color are quotes from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney). . . . . .
. . . . . . “Detachment allows us to start taking some Loving control of our own internal process. It allows us to start taking control over, and responsibility for, our thoughts and our feelings to the extent that is possible. It allows us to create a space in our lives to start learning how to be Loving to ourselves instead of feeling like a victim of self and life. . . , . .
. . . . . . .I realized after posting this page that I wasn't sure if I had been clear that I was not talking about detachment as a way to avoid feeling the feelings. I am referring to developing an additional level of consciousness where we can be watching ourselves at the same time we are feeling the feelings. A level of consciousness from the adult on a Spiritual path, the recovery control center, that can help us align with the grieving process and release the emotional energy. We can be the recovering adult who is observing from a nurturing and Loving place at the same time we are experiencing the feelings of the 5 year old, or 9 year old, or 23 year old, or whatever. We can be in the feelings and observing ourselves grieving at the same time.” - Co-Creation: Owning your Power to Manifest Love
In the recovery process we are learning to Live in the moment / to be present by aligning with the Serenity Prayer. (Applying the Serenity Prayer - Wisdom through Discernment is the first of a 9 part series I wrote on the Serenity Prayer)
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"The key to healing our wounded souls is to get clear and honest in our emotional process. Until we can get clear and honest with our human emotional responses - until we change the twisted, distorted, negative perspectives and reactions to our human emotions that are a result of having been born into, and grown up in, a dysfunctional, emotionally repressive, Spiritually hostile environment - we cannot get clearly in touch with the level of emotional energy that is Truth. We cannot get clearly in touch with and reconnected to our Spiritual Self.
We, each and every one of us, has an inner channel to Truth, an inner channel to the Great Spirit. But that inner channel is blocked up with repressed emotional energy, and with twisted, distorted attitudes and false beliefs." . . . . .
. . . . . . “The Universe is one giant dance of energy. This realization led in part to the title of my book: The Dance of Wounded Souls. We are all dancing energy made up of dancing energy. I realized that the reason the dance was painful and dysfunctional is that humans have been dancing to the wrong music (wrong as in not aligned with the Truth of a Loving Force.) The dance of life for humans has been grounded in shame and fear, empowered by belief in separation, lack, and scarcity. These are lower vibrational emotions and beliefs based on the three dimensional illusion that humans experience as reality. As long as the dance of humans harmonizes to music - vibrational emanations - that are rooted in shame, fear, and separation the only way to do the dance is destructively.
As I did my deep grief work and started to clear up my internal process so that I could more clearly differentiate between Truth that was a vibrational communication from my Soul and the emotional truth that was coming from my wounded soul, I was able to start trusting myself to be able to discern Truth.” - The True Nature of Love - part 3, Love as a Vibrational Frequency
​We need to listen to our gut instead of our head.​​
July 2025
So in July 2025 thing are much the same but quite different. The infusion medication (I sit with IV in my arm for about 4 hours, then again 2 weeks later - and then not for another 4 months) has been great. Really ended the almost year of hell I went through with the arthritis. And as a great example of the silver lining/ part of the glass that is full, Darien graduated High School in May 2023 - and came to live with me as my caregiver in June 2023. The baby that I fell in love with all those years before - and whom I became the primary caregiver for, was now my caregiver as his first job, paid for by a VA related program.
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He later got a job at Albertsons and was helping to not only take care of me but also support me by paying weekly rent. He got to really learn to drive by driving me around. He moved back with his grandma / Susan in April 2025 - and got a job working at a gas station where he had to be at work at 5 am. Now he is going to be starting community college in August. I really miss him, but it was time for him to be creating his life. It was an unbelievable gift to have that almost 2 years extra with him because of the arthritis.
So the arthritis is under control but the neuropathy in my feet is much worse.
"The infussion medication from the rheumatologist is working pretty good. My feet and legs are still messed up - but relatively much better that it was, (See how that works.) I am hobbling, taking a foot or two strides - but I am still very unstable on my feet. I fee like I am going to fall regularly. Especially when I first stand up. Which is often because of the enlarged prostate that first attacked me in September 2020.
For a few years now, I have to get up about every hour to pee. I took to using my walker to get around at night, because I am afraid of falling. Taking a shower is a scary experience. And then last December I had a biopsy and found out I have prostate cancer. It is the slowest growing cancer and I have been putting off getting surgery because the urologist told me I would have to have a catheter in for 2 to 3 weeks, When I first had the attack in Sept. of 2020, I had one in for a week - and I hated it and was determined to avoid it again if possible." - Update October 19 2024
The neuropathy started in July 2020 when I had a stroke the week after my birthday. It was a mild one and the only effect was some mild neuropathy in both feet. I could still walk a mile or two a day.
Since the arthritis though the neuropathy is much worse. There is some pain in my knees when I stand up or sit down. But my feet are still a major problem. I am only able to hobble around. Feel like I am going to fall often. Did fall a week or so ago, but not hurt. I ended up doing what I write about not doing - buying into the victim perspective.
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"My Spiritual Path has been full of miracles. Often my High Power sends me messages that seem insane to me. My reaction is like from this article about my miracles.
“No way, Jose!” was my response. . . . . .This is a pattern with me and the Universe – I get a message and I say “Are you crazy – no way!” But eventually, as a message keeps getting repeated over and over, eventually I surrender and say, “OK, but you’d better take care of me.” - The Path of one Recovering Codependent ~ the dance of one wounded soul: Miracles
I just have experienced a new epic miracle. For some reason the last couple of months have been one of the driest periods in terms of money coming that I have experienced since I first went online in 1988. I have gotten deeper and deeper in debt. Until I was 3 months behind on my rent. The rental agency had no choice but present me with a 3 Day Pay or quit Eviction notice.
In the Cosmic Theme of things - in alignment with Divine plan, that made me eligible for a program I didn’t know existed. Something called CAPSLO supports Veterans - and I was eligible. They are going to pay my rent for 6 months - back rent and late fees included, and the pay half my rent for 18 months!!!! Miracle indeed!!!!!! My Higher Power taking care of me!!!!!
The program I am in now is Truly a miracle - although not quite as good from my perspective as I thought at first. Instead of paying 6 months of my rent, they only paid 4 - which is great and magnificent - and almost $7000. (My dream manifested) But it means that I have to pay half my rent starting May 1st, My social security got sent to a bank that my account is closed at - so still haven't gotten that yet. And they are paying my utilities for the next 6 months - but can't pay my car payment. I am now 2 months behind on car payments. And my car registration is due before the end of the month.
So, still basically broke day to day. Can only put $20 or so in gas tank at a time. And can't take advantage of any of the opportunities I mention that could bring in lots of money. I am sure it is all going to turn out okay, but it is taking all my recovery tools to just keep focusing on the part of the glass that is full each day.
I was really happy when they said that I would get 6 months paid, because i figured that gave til the beginning of June to decide if I can afford to stay. My rent is $1730 a month (which seemed cheap compared to Cambria when I had to move. Into the Forest - and out of Cambria) and with the low income that has been coming in lately, I am not sure if I can afford to stay here. I would really like to, but I need to figure out some way to bring in more money. I may have to find some different ways to bring in some money.
The silver lining to all the pain and suffering in this last year from the arthritis is having Darien living here with me. It has been such a blessing. He is going to be leaving in a week to go back to live in Tracy. It makes me very sad that he is leaving but I don't really need a caregiver at this point - or maybe I do, but unfortunately it won't be him at this point." - Third Step Help Miracle
This was basically a case of my higher Power doing for me what I can't do for myself. And when I did move it was even more of an example of the plan working in ways I could not have dreamed of. I got to a place again where I was months behind on the half of the rent that I was supposed to be paying. My half of the rent was more than my social security. And I got caught up in trying to catch up and get a few thousand dollars to get out if the hole I was in. That led to me getting involved in a few scams online - which just made things worse. So then they served me with an eviction notice. CAPSLO got us legal respresentation. Our lawyer was very sharp and found a few technical problems in the way they handled the eviction.
So, my lawyer negotiated a settlement that not only got all past due rent waived but set up the agreement to allow them to inspect the place within a week of the agreement. Then they had a week to return my deposit. So I didn't have to pay any of the past rent and also got my deposit back. I could not have dreamt that up in my wildest fantasy. I kept saying that I believe there is a Divine plan unfolding but I couldn't figure out what it was. HP definitely doing for me.
In the meantime. I was looking for a room to rent or a house to share. Susan went for a job interview with a property management firm - and ended up applying for an apartment in a new senior low cost housing development that was due to open at the end of April in Paso Robles.
Paso Robles is not someplace I wanted to live. It is about 30 miles inland and gets over 100 degrees in the summer regularly. Susan and I along with Darien and his parents had lived there for a few months in 2006 before moving to San Diego where they had lived before. I was not hot on the idea of living in the heat away from the ocean - and thought Susan was letting her Al-Anon/CoDA control issues show. Since we are still legally married she applied for the apartment for the two of us. Her boyfriend thought I should move in with them, and I think part of her motivation for jumping through all the hoops to get the apartment was to keep that from happening.​
"I realized recently that I was buying into a victim perspective on being basically disabled now. I posted about it on Facebook.
Robert Burney shared a memory.March 17. Shared with Public
"I haven't been to my rock in months now. It makes me sad. I can walk but I can't take a walk."
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Robert Burney shared a memory — feeling sad. Shared with Public
"I really miss my walks. My arthritis is acting up again, and I can walk - but can't take a walk. Started crying this morning looking at these picture and remembering when the walks were just a normal part of my daily routine."
March 27th.My first walk to the Rock in a couple of months. I have been saying,
"I can walk but I can't take a walk." Susan Hinesley pointed out to me that I could take a walk with a walker.
"It is vital to not buy into the codependent lie that we are trapped and don't have any choices. We always have a choice of our attitude towards the things we cannot control." - Acceptance is the Answer
I need to accept reality as it is, and make the best choices available to me - instead of being the victim of reality not being what I want it to be. So, I can take a walk with a walker! Unfortunately it has been raining many days - so haven't taken any since that first one but plan on it this weekend. . . . .
It was really a miracle that we did get the place at the end of April. It is called Riverwalk Terrace and is in the back of a shopping center that includes WalMart. The first time I went for a walk - with my walker - I found out the river was dry. I did find a herd of about 150 goats however.
I sent messages to some people that the river was dry, and it would be more accurate to call it Goat Herd Terrace - but that probably would not be so attractive marketing wise.
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There is a 10 second video to give you an idea of how many there were. I don'y think you can see in this video, but on the far side there was someone with a guitar singing to them. They weren't paying any attention.
The url is Riverwalksenior - which is hard to believe actually. I mean that the people who designed it knew it was for seniors. It is set up so the only entrance is in the front of this really long complex.
My apartment is way in the back - 217. So I have to take a really long walk to get out of the building, to take the trash out, to check mail or do laundry. I walk down the halls wobbling from side to side on my neuropathy feet. Sway to one side and then the other. The way I describe it is it feels like having scar tissue on the bottoms my feet. I have to walk slow and carefully - and like I said feel like I could fall any time. Very unstable.
There is a meme on Facebook that I have identified with for the last few years. "When I was young and I dropped something, I would just pick it up. Now I have to ask myself, how important to me is it to me."
I am very grateful to have the place though. Thank you Susan!!
At some point I got sick of shaving. I am not sure that I like the beard - but I sure like not shaving.
The Cancer
The enlarged Prostate has been a real problem since before the attack that sent me to the hospital in September 2020. I had not been in an ER for myself for over 25 years and then had to go 3 times in about 6 weeks. I had actually started having problems with controlling my bladder in early 2020 - so that I started buying Depends. Several times in recent months, I had shared in CoDA meetings an example of focusing on the part of the glass that is full - that while having to get up to pee every hour or so was a pain, that I was grateful that I had more control over my bladder at night than I did in the daytime.
My Urologist wanted me to do radiation to kill the cancer. I went to see the radiology oncologist. And he told me that one of the effects of the radiology - one of the permanent affects - was that the bladder problems would get worse. In the week I went to see him, I had 4 times come home with my jeans soaked through in the front because I had no control when I was out and about. Even at home, I could not make it the bathroom quick enough to stop from peeing on myself.
This is not a pleasant experience. So I decided that I wasn't going to do the radiation if losing more control was part of the side affects. The next time I went to my urologist's office, I got a call from the radiologist's office just when my urologist came into the room. He heard me tell them I wasn't going to do the radiation. He was very upset. When I told him why I had decided not to do it, he said "Well it's going to get worse anyway and then you will die of cancer."
So, now I almost halfway through a 5 1/2 week course of Radiation treatments 5 days a week. I just realized as I am writing this, that part of the perfection of the timing of the Divine Plan is the delay for a month because I first said I wasn't going to do it, is that in the meantime I had moved so that I now live only 5 miles from the place I go for the treatments. Very grateful for that convenience.
I had really only noticed one effect that the radiation was having on me until writing this update. I am enjoying writing again but I have had to go to the bathroom every 15 or 20 minutes while writing. So the radiation has sped up the whole loss of bladder control thing. The thing I had already noticed is that I have been experiencing a loss of bowel control also. I will not go into any details about that. All and all a very unpleasant, degrading, and humiliating experience. My 77th birthday is coming up next week, and it's a good thing I am focusing on one day at a time instead of projecting horror movies into the future because it would be very hard to find any reason to keep living with my physical challenges dictating the quality of my life experience.
Finances
And, as I said in my October Update, "Finances are still a the most stressful area in my life."
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I did my last in person workshop on March 17th 2020 - and everything shut down for the pandemic the next day. I had never heard of Zoom before then, but I set up some workshops on zoom very Quickly. Here is something I wrote about it.
"I started doing my Life-Changing Workshop on Zoom in May of 2020 because of the pandemic. A major reason that I decided to do my workshop on Zoom, is to leave more of a record of my work in case I should end up being taken out by the virus. I am in the susceptible Boomer group, so anything is possible. (I haven't gotten covid but I did have a minor stroke and some other physical issues this year - getting old isn't for sissies.) I believe that the approach to inner child / emotional healing that I share in the workshop is the missing piece - the missing perspective - of the puzzle of life that so many people have been seeking. It is a formula for integrating intellectual knowledge and Spiritual Truth into one's emotional relationship with life. It is the key to learning how to be more Loving to your self - and to turning life into an adventure to be experienced instead of an ordeal of suffering to be endured. Zoom has proven to be a good vehicle for sharing this formula with people around the world."
I set the price low - $40 - because I wanted to make it as available as possible to as many people as possible. I was actually thinking of wanting to spread the word about my approach so that I could leave a legacy. As I have said in several places:
“When I published Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls in 1995, I was sure it would be a Best Seller almost immediately. I expected that Oprah would be calling me and asking me to appear on her show once she discovered my book." - History of Asking for Help
On the GoFundMe page I created in February of 2025 (more on that in a minute.)
"I say somewhere in my writing - which I can't find at the moment in the millions of words on Joy2MeU site - that I have accepted that people won't understand how important my work is until after I am gone. That is okay - but I am not okay with it not being available after I am gone. That is why I want to get my website up to date and assured of being here after I am gone."
So, now that I am feeling that the end might be nearer than I thought - and might not be such bad news - I really, really do want to leave my work available.
Covid did mark the start of a downward spiral for me financially. But I think that the major issue was how out of date my website joy2meu.com had become. I put a version of the following announcement on various pages of my site several years ago.
"Robert Burney’s Joy2MeU https://joy2meu.com/ website (launched in February 1999) offers over 200 pages of free original content on codependency recovery, inner child healing, relationship dynamics, alcoholism/addiction, fear of intimacy, Twelve Step Spirituality, New Age Metaphysics, emotional abuse, setting boundaries, grief process, and much more. Joy2meu.com is designed in a program that is obsolete (Netscape) - which is why I started a new Mobile Friendly site a couple of years ago (May 2018) - Joy2MeU2.com. I keep an old computer to work on Joy2meu.com, because it doesn’t work with any operating system from X on. It is probably not going to work one of these days, as it has been giving me more and more problems. I put this notice up a few years ago to let you know that very soon I may not be able to update the site, and it will be good to go to Joy2MeU2.com https://www.joy2meu2.com/ for the latest news."
That day came on January 18th this year.
January 18, 2025 - I put a form of this notice on my main website several years ago - and yesterday the development that I was concerned about came about - my old computer no longer works and I can no longer post on or update Joy2MeU.
I very much want to redesign the site (and make videos of the articles) so I can keep this information available long after I am gone. I would love to find someone who would love to sponsor the site and take it over when I am gone.
“I freely share so much information on my site because - as I say in the article above - I believe it is my Karmic Mission in this lifetime. I want to share the Joyous message and the precious information that I have discovered - and it is what I need to do for my Recovery and Spiritual Path. It is not such a great strategy when it comes to finances however.;-) So Donations to the Cause / Love Offerings / Spiritual Tithes are always appreciated if you feel my sharing has helped you in your Healing / Recovery process and on your Spiritual Path. If my writing has helped you remember Truth that brings you some Joy and inner peace, and your Spirit moves you to send some Love back my way, it would be greatly appreciated.” - Metaphysical Law: Giving and Receiving​
February 7, 2025 - I have started a GoFundMe page to finance redesigning Joy2MeU and making audio and video recordings of all the articles. I want to make sure that the valuable information on my website is available after I am gone.
I am sure that my site is not showing up as well as it used to - because it is not mobile friendly. But even worse is that most of the payment links on the site are PayPal - and I lost my PayPal account. So, I am not sure if people could buy anything if they wanted to now. I have not sold any books through Joy2MeU for several years and only a few through Joy2MeU2. The only income that has come through my websites this last couple of years is phone/Zoom counseling and Donations. There was a time 10 years ago when I had over a thousand dollars a month coming in from Amazon. Now I am lucky if I get more than a hundred.
And then last August my Facebook was hacked and I was locked out of it. That cost me a lot of money to try to get it back. Lots of people came out of the woodwork to offer to help - for a fee. Losing Facebook was a major blow to me. It was primarily where I did my marketing in recent years. I had over 4,000 friends on Facebook and have less than 200 on the new one that I set up. New one: Facebook
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I laid down to take little break - and had a realization. I realized that if my feet weren't messed up, I would be taking 2 or 3 walks a day. Walks have always been so important to me. They were my prayer and meditation time. I could feel that I have some grief to deal with in regard to losing my walks. Walking with a walker is just not the same. So that is an attitude I will need to working on changing. As Melody Beatie has said, "Learn the art of acceptance - it is a lot of grief." It is so important to see reality as it is and make the best of it by focusing on the silver lining (can take walks) instead of the dark cloud (have to use walker.)
Of course I take a lot of naps because I don't get a lot of sleep. Good nights are when I have a few periods of sleeping for an hour and a half, and get back to sleep pretty quickly. Bad nights are an hour or less between getting up and then can't get back to sleep for a couple of hours.
Complicating the situation is that in addition to the neuropathy, my right foot is messed up. My foot has been gradually more deformed, and my podiatrist is planning 'hammertoe" surgery on it. Hammertoe isn't exactly what I have - but I guess that is the closest to what it is. Google says it can be caused by arthritis and diabetes - so both apply. Actually I just looked this up - and what I have is a bunion.
"A bunion is a bony bump that forms on the joint at the base of the big toe. It happens when some of the bones in the front part of the foot move out of their regular position. This causes the big toe to get pulled toward the smaller toes. It also forces the joint at the base of your big toe to stick out."
This can also be caused by arthritis. And this is what has happened - the big toe has been pulled in towards the other toes. I was walking into the radiologists office the other day and seeing reflected in the door that while my left foot is going straight ahead, my right is coming forward sideways. My podiatrist (too may "ists" in my life - podiatrist, oncologist, radiologist, urologist, endocronologist, etc.) is planning on doing surgery on it - but is waiting until I am done with radiation. And once the cancer is gone then I will need surgery on my prostate. Sigh.
So, on Wednesday 7/16/25 - a week before my birthday - I went to my Radiation treatment at 9:45 - and then headed down the hill to Morro Bay. A friend of over 30 years lives there, and when I get in a really tight place where I don't have any money for food or gas, or need to keep the utilities on - will help me out financially by leaving some cash in a bucket of bird seed on his porch. We have talked about this before but yesterday he reiterated that part of the reason he does it is because it is an affirmation and acknowledgement that he has abundance in his life, and that he learned in inner child grief groups that I started doing in 1990 or 1991, that it was possible for him to thrive in life. So that is pretty cool.
I headed back up to Paso Robles and went to Walmart because one of the things I needed was a new package of depends - because that has become a staple in my life. And the I went across the street to Albertsons and the gas station. I picked up a few groceries and went to gas station after. Some place - in Walmart or Albertsons I was walking around peeing in my pants. This enlarged prostate thing causes the loss of control of my bladder walking around in stores or when driving. And someplace in there I also felt what could have been some gas - or could have been more.
I went to the gas station and put in $20 worth of gas - and asked the attendant about how much the air cost. My car had the warning sign for a low tire for several days but I couldn't afford to pay for air - and one day I found one free, I put the air in the wrong tire. Part of the reason I did that is that it is so uncomfortable for me to bend over to put the air in. He said that he would turn it on for me. Something to be grateful for. It was very uncomfortable - fell like I was going to fall for sure. Then I went home.
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Sure enough, I had a load in my depends (actually it is an off brand because depends are too expensive.) I was not happy about it for sure - but the thing that flashed in my minds eye was a van from an Assisted Living home that was loading up outside of Walmart as I was walking out. People in wheel chairs, and with one side of their face drooping from a stroke - and I was grateful because I am not as bad as they are. Relatively grateful again. I am still independent and can get around on my own. My stroke wasn't that bad. I can still clean myself. I hope and pray that I can keep being independent and get around until the end of this journey.
I am very grateful for the reality that I am experiencing even though it is not what I wish it was!! This whole human thing is so screwed up - when we are young and have lots of energy, we don't have much wisdom. Then we get older our bodies start falling apart. But it really is screwed up from the beginning in so many ways. We get programmed to live life dysfunctionaly - starting the lies with fairy tales. And I have a client whose baby is about 6 months old now and is teething. How screwed up is that - a baby having to go through all the pain of having their teeth break through their gums. Not nice.
So, next week is my 77th birthday on the 23rd.
I could us some birthday donations and some prayers: https://www.joy2meu2.com/donations -
or Venmo https://account.venmo.com/u/Robert-Burney-10 -
if someone wants to do a catch up session or two of phone or Zoom counseling that would be great. https://www.joy2meu2.com/counseling
I just pushed my next Zoom Workshop back to August because no one had signed up yet: https://www.joy2meu2.com/workshop-zoom it really is potentially life changing.
And anyone who wants to help keep my work and my legacy alive could contribute to my GoFundMe page
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Keep reminding your self that you have the power to chose where to focus your mind. Choosing to focus on the part of the glass that is full and being grateful - going through life looking for the silver lining - gives you some control over the quality of your life. Having compassion for your self when you don't feel okay is your Self being Loving to your self.
With Wishes of Joy & Love to You & Me,
Robert
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls has been called "one of the truly transformational works of our time" - and it's author Robert Burney referred to as "a metaphysical Stephen Hawking." A therapist and Spiritual Teacher whose work has been compared to John Bradshaw's "except much more spiritual" and described as "taking inner child healing to a new level." Robert postulates in his book that Codependence (i.e. outer or external dependence) has been the Human Condition. - and that we have now entered a new Age of Healing and Joy in which it is possible to heal the planet through healing our relationships with self. He combines Twelve Step Recovery Principles, Metaphysical Truth, and Native American Spirituality with quantum physics and molecular biology in his book in presenting his belief that we are all connected, we are all extensions of the Divine, and that ultimately Love is our True essence.​​