Abundant Spirituality + codependency recovery + inner child healing + Love = Joy2MeU2

Nasty Reactions 

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The reactions when I first posted the above declaration were resoundingly supportive or very nasty.  People who had been on my friends list for years called me an idiot and worse.  They told me that I was deluded and that voting for the democrats would turn our country socialist or communist.  They thought I was stupid to not know about the Satanist New World Order, or the Covid Conspiracy, or the evil of Bill Gates.

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There are so many ridiculous conspiracy theories out there these days, but this whole "the virus was engineered as part of a conspiracy to make everyone get vaccinated with tracking chips so that they can track us" - is maybe the most ridiculous (except for the QAnon insanity.). We are tracked already - they don't need to vaccinate us.  All I have to do is buy something on a credit card and an ad will show up on Facebook the same day.  (I ordered an HP print cartridge from Walmart today (10/30/2020) - in 2 hours there was an ad in my Facebook feed for HP print cartridges.)  It is already possible to track us if they wanted to do anything more than just try to sell us things.

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Yes our government has lied to us in the past.  Yes, the system as it has evolved is really screwed up in many ways.  I have been appalled by it since I got old enough to see how it really works,

 

"First of all, I hated the injustice I saw in the society I grew up in.  I am deeply offended by a society that can justify not just homelessness, but so much of the population living in poverty while a small percentage of the population has more money than they can ever possibly spend.  The rebel in me used to get enraged at the callous disregard for individual human rights and dignity created out of the belief systems that underlie capitalism.  (My rebel still can get pretty angry about it, but I have released a lot of rage over the years.)

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It is, of course, not just capitalism that can be so cruel.  I believe that it is the patriarchal nature of human civilizations that has created such heartless societies.  Women, who because of the gift of being able to bring life into this world, are naturally more heart connected and innately inclined to have more respect for the gift of an individual human life than men.   (Of course, the ultimate cause is the illusion of separation and the planetary conditions of polarization and reversity that I talk about in my book.)" - Joy to You & Me and Joy2MeU Newsletter 10-20-00 Part 2

 

“We live in societies that are only a few generations removed from the belief that children and women were property.  And not much farther removed from so called "civilized societies" that saw nothing wrong with slavery and genocide.

 

Human beings have been being abused in all ways, including emotionally, by the belief systems of Patriarchal, Spiritually hostile (hostile to the idea that we are all connected and have equal Divine worth), emotionally dishonest civilizations for many generations.” - Emotional abuse is Heart and Soul Mutilation

 

I spent some time being an armed revolutionary in 1973 with the American Indian Movement.  I had an FBI file over an inch thick that started off stating that I was being investigated for trying to overthrow the government.  I was quite proud of that at the time - and still think it was pretty cool actually.  

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“He got involved with the American Indian Movement in the spring of 1973 during their occupation of the village of Wounded Knee in South Dakota.  He left graduate school and went to South Dakota to fly an air drop of supplies but the siege ended a few days after his arrival.  He remained actively involved with AIM for the rest of that year and had an extensive FBI file compiled on him for his active participation in revolutionary activities against the government.  During this time more than a dozen of the people he was closely involved with were killed or went to prison.  It was only through divine intervention on several occasions that he survived to return to graduate school.” - Biographical information about the Author

 

My involvement with AIM was a perfect manifestation of my codependent black and white thinking.  The Native Americans had been wronged grievously and it was right to fight for them.  I could track my movements for almost a year through reading my FBI files - because there were so many informants and undercover agents making reports.  At one point while staying in a guest house in Beverly Hills - the house of the wife of a famous actor (whose son was about 5 at the time and became a famous actor himself later) who supported the movement - I had gotten my horoscope done for the first time by someone who was hanging around the movement.  The astrological reading was really weird and I found out why when I got my FBI files - because this undercover agent had gotten my year of birth wrong.

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At some point I had an awakening of sorts, and realized that there was no one involved in the revolution that I would want to run things if we won - and that if I stayed involved I would end up dead or in prison.  So, I detached from my involvement and returned to graduate school.

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One of the things that I saw clearly from this experience, is that the government doesn't have it together enough to pull off a great conspiracy.  The complexity involved - as well as how many people would have to be quiet for years - makes it seem insane to me to think that the Moon Landing could have been faked,  I know that the Earth is not flat.  I think maybe there was a conspiracy involved in JFK's assassination - although not one that involved government agencies or officials acting in an official capacity.

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There have, of course, been conspiracies of various kinds in the past - and possibly now - but I do not believe that the terrorist attack of 9/11 was some inside job that was staged.  It is really stupid to me, to think that the school shootings were staged in order to try to take people's guns away from them.  If someone was willing to go to that length to try to take away 2nd amendment rights, they would have done it by now. I don't believe that there are conspiracies involving 5G or Covid or Bill Gates.  I certainly don't believe that Donald Trump is fighting a battle against a secret group of pedophile / Satanist that are part of some Deep State that is he is trying to save us from.

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These are really insane beliefs that are the result of the polarized perspectives - the "Us vs Them" fight for survival kind of reactions -  that are part of the black and white thinking of codependency.

 

"One of the core characteristics of this disease of Codependence is intellectual polarization - black and white thinking.  Rigid extremes - good or bad, right or wrong, love it or leave it, one or ten.  Codependence does not allow any gray area - only black and white extremes.

 

Life is not black and white.  Life involves the interplay of black and white.  In other words, the gray area is where life takes place.  A big part of the healing process is learning the numbers two through nine - recognizing that life is not black and white."

 

What I see is a bunch of wounded souls reacting our of their fear and shame programming.  The black and white perspective is the foundation of the blame them or blame me, victim of them or victim of my own shameful defectiveness, extremes that govern the dynamics of the disease of codependency.

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What is happening is a country / world full of wounded codependents is reacting out of fight or flight survival instincts - and is seeing what is happening from a black and white perspective that causes us to see "Them" as the enemy. 

 

We are not each others enemy.  But the enemy is also not some secret Cabal / some Illuminati / some conspiracy of the New World Order.  The 1% that benefits from the rest of us fighting each other are just reacting to their codependent programming and inner child wounding - not some secret organized plan.

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“It is our world leaders, reacting out of the fear and insecurity of their inner children, and the dysfunctional belief systems underlying civilization, who give us war and poverty, billionaires and homelessness." Inner Child Healing - Why do it?

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“As I explain in my book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls, planetary conditions caused human beings to develop a relationship with being human that was reversed to Love and Truth.  The reason this human experience is so screwed up is because humans have been doing life backwards - looking outside for Truth and Love, for validation, meaning, and purpose.  Outer dependence is dysfunctional.  It is the reason we do not know how to love our neighbors as our self - because we do not know how to Love our self.  It is the reason we have war and poverty, pollution and child abuse, rape and bigotry.  This world would be a much nicer place if everyone was working a twelve step program.” - The Miracle of The Twelve Step Recovery Process

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Which doesn't mean that everyone in 12 step recovery is seeing things from a healthy perspective. There were a number of people who condemned my declaration because I shouldn't be saying anything that doesn't put "principles over personalities" - a 12 step concept that applies to meetings, and doesn't have anything to do with my freedom to speak my Truth.

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“The underlining dynamic of codependency is black and white thinking.  Drinking or not drinking is a black and white issue.  Thus many recovering alcoholics can stop drinking while still empowering the black and white thinking of codependency. . . . . . Some of the most wounded codependents I know have 30 or 40 years sober and have never addressed their emotional issues - while justifying their rigidity as doing AA the "right" way.” - Inspiration from the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous

 

When we are seeing things in a black and white / polarized perspective, we are not seeing our self, life, or others clearly.

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"In our codependence, we reacted to life out of a black and white, right and wrong, belief paradigm that taught us that is was shameful and bad to be wrong, to make mistakes, to be imperfect - to be human.  We formed our core relationship with our self and with life in early childhood based on the messages we got, the emotional trauma we suffered, and the role modeling of the adults around us.  As we grew up, we built our relationship with self, other people, and life on the foundation we formed in early childhood." - Inner Child Healing - How to begin

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"We are transcendent Spiritual Beings who are part of the ONENESS that is the God-Force. We always have been and always will be. We are perfect in our Spiritual Essence. We are perfectly where we are supposed to be on our Spiritual Path. And from a human perspective we will never be able to do "human" perfectly - which is perfect.

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We have been trying to do human perfect according to a false belief system in order to get Spiritual. It does not work. It's dysfunctional."

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“Codependency is insidious because it is so pervasive. The core emotional belief that there is something wrong with who we are as beings affects all of the relationships in our life and keeps us from learning how to Truly Love. In a Codependent society value is assigned in comparison (richer than, prettier than, more spiritual than, healthier than, etc.) so that the only way to feel good about self is the judge and look down on others. Comparison serves the belief in separation which makes violence, homelessness, pollution, and billionaires possible. Love is about feeling connected in the scheme of things not separate.” - A Dance of Suffering, Shame, and Self-abuse  

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"That shame is toxic and is not ours - it never was!  We did nothing to be ashamed of - we were just little kids.  Just as our parents were little kids when they were wounded and shamed, and their parents before them, etc., etc.  This is shame about being human that has been passed down from generation to generation.

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There is no blame here, there are no bad guys, only wounded souls and broken hearts and scrambled minds."

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In a codependent culture we are taught that self worth is a competitive issue - taught that our self definition and self worth depend on outer sources (people, places, and things,  money, property, and prestige, accomplishments, popularity, relationships) and external manifestations of our being (looks, talent, intelligence) - that we judge in comparison and competition with other people.  

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The Truth in my understanding is that we are all inherently worthy and Lovable because we are connected the the ONENESS of everything - not because of anything temporary outside of us.

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"We are not sinful, shameful human creatures who have to somehow earn Spirituality.  We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience."

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We are all Magnificent Spiritual Beings.  That includes Donald Trump.  But he is also grievously wounded and is projecting onto us, and subjecting us to, the reactions to his own fears and insecurity - his own shame and guilt.  Except he is so grievously wounded, he is not capable of feeling shame or quilt on a personal level.  He is only capable of striking out at others.

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In order to get healthier and learn how to have and set boundaries, I needed to learn to discern between objective observation and making value judgements about other people.  I needed to learn to separate being from behavior - and know that even though I had done some shameful things in my life, I was not a shameful being.

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I need to observe the behavior of others in order to make choices / judgements about who I want to be around and who is toxic for me.  If someone is acting in ways that are abusive to me, then I need to set boundaries with them and hold them responsible for their behavior - even if they are powerless over that behavior because of their wounding and programming.

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"We cannot begin to make progress in learning to Love ourselves until we start being kind to ourselves in healthy ways.  A very important part of being kind to ourselves is learning how to say no, and how to set, and be able to defend, boundaries. 

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Unconditional Love does not mean being a doormat for other people - unconditional Love begins with Loving ourselves enough to protect ourselves from the people we Love if that is necessary."

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“Recovery is not about blame, it is not about finding fault - the blaming and fault finding comes from the disease, the critical parent voice within.  In order to heal and get healthier, it is necessary to take responsibility for our side of the street - and hold others responsible for their behavior.” - Emotional Honesty and Emotional Responsibility

 

I need to learn to clean up my side of the street - the dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors caused by reacting out of my old tapes and old wounds - and start recognizing when other people were abusing me, so that I could start protecting my self in healthy ways.

 

"In order to stop giving the toxic shame so much power, I had to learn to detach from my own reactive process enough to start being able to see a boundary between being and behavior.  I had to stop judging myself and other people based on behavior.  I started to learn how to observe behavior without making judgments about myself and others. There is a huge difference between judgment in my definition and observation.  It is vital for me to observe other people's behavior in order to protect myself.  That does not mean I need to make a value judgment about their being based upon their behavior.

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Judgment is saying, "that person is a jerk."  Observation is saying, "that person seems to be really full of anger and it would be better for me to not be involved with them."

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"[When I use the term "judge," I am talking about making judgments about our own or other people's being based on behavior.  In other words, I did something bad therefore I am a bad person; I made a mistake therefore I am a mistake.  That is what toxic shame is all about:  feeling that something is wrong with our being, that we are somehow defective because we have human drives, human weaknesses, human imperfections.

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There may be behavior in which we have engaged that we feel ashamed of but that does not make us shameful beings   We may need to make judgments about whether our behavior is healthy and appropriate but that does not mean that we have to judge our essential self, our being, because of the behavior.  Our behavior has been dictated by our disease, by our childhood wounds; it does not mean that we are bad or defective as beings.  It means that we are human, it means that we are wounded.

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It is important to start setting a boundary between being and behavior.  All humans have equal Divine value as beings - no matter what our behavior.  Our behavior is learned (and/or reactive to physical or physiological conditions).  Behavior, and the attitudes that dictate behavior, are adopted defenses designed to allow us to survive in the Spiritually hostile, emotionally repressive, dysfunctional environments into which we were born.]"" - Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self

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So, if I said anywhere that Trump is evil, or is a monster, that would be a value judgement about his being - and that is not cool.  However his actions and behavior have been evil and monstrous, and it is my responsibility to speak up about what I see as abusive and destructive.  

 

So, to be real clear about what I am saying here, it is not cool for me to make a value judgement about someones being - i.e. "He's an asshole."  But it is not only okay, but necessary for us to learn to make objective observations and judgements about who we want to interact with based upon their behavior - "he seems to be really insecure and full of anger and blame, which causes him to act like the type of asshole I don't want around me or the people I love."  I.E. "He act like an asshole."

 

Outsiders

As I said above:

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"Many things are up for debate these days.  But whether white supremacy has a place in our society is not among them.

 

“Agree to disagree” is reserved for things like “I don’t like coffee” or “camping is the best.”  Difference of opinion is for stuff like “I don’t like sushi” or “the t-shirt you are wearing.” 

 

Not racism, homophobia, and sexism.  Not human rights. Not basic human decency.  It is not just a difference of opinion, it is a difference in morality.”

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I don't believe that all the people who are supporting Trump are immoral, or lack human decency.  I believe that they are blinded because they are reacting out of their codependency.

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I do however, believe that anyone who accepts racism - "he is good for the economy, so that is more important than the fact that he is racist" - is in fact, a racist. Systemic racism is so powerful and ingrained in our culture, that many white people can't see it.  That is only possible if someone is incapable of feeling empathy - cannot put themselves in another's shoes, or is willfully ignorant and in denial.  If you don't understand why #blacklivesmatter - then you are racist.

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I believe, that as I said above, some people are trauma bonded because they had a narcissistic parent or significant other that they have not gotten enough recovery to be able to let go of yet.  They are reacting to the familiar feeling he gives them from their childhood.

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I believe that there is a significant number of people who have been feeling powerless for a long time.  They have felt that they were not a part of - not being treated with respect - and were being denied the American Dream (which is an illusion of course).  I think that this significant minority has felt like they don't have a voice, like they were muzzled by the concept of "political correctness" - and that were insignificant in the American scheme of things.  They have felt like the America they thought was great in childhood, has changed and left them behind.

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Along came Donald Trump - the outsider.  They embraced having a champion who they thought was going to make America Great again.  They loved it that he was going to "clean the swamp" in Washington.  They loved that someone was standing up for them.  They loved that someone was standing up to the "liberals" that were looking down on them because they weren't cool, or politically correct.

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Unfortunately, Trump actually despises the people that support him. He is a conman running a con - and he loves stirring up the "suckers and pigeons."  He took the swamp and poured toxic waste into it.  Never have so many inappropriate people been put in charge of institutions that are conflicts of interests with their capitalistic greed.

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From his first day in office Trump started with the lies.  The whole concept of "Fake news" was part of his spiel from the beginning. 

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The internet is a great resource, but it also has enabled the real conspiracies by the Russians, Chinese, Iranians, and far right wing conservatives like Rupert Murdock and the Kroc brothers.  The Russians interfered with the 2016 election in a major way.  They flooded the internet with misinformation and outright lies.  Here is meme I got off of Facebook recently, and on it the person who posted it added her own interpretation of what is going on.  I think it is very accurate.